Lessons in Government and Cows

Publié le par

This content comes from old Internet days : 1990s

  • FEUDALISM
    You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
  • SOCIALISM
    You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else’s cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.
  • BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM
    You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else’s cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs the regulations say you should need.
  • FASCISM
    You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.
  • MARXIST COMMUNISM
    You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.
  • RUSSIAN COMMUNISM
     You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.
  • CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM
    You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.
  • PURE DEMOCRACY
    You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.
  • REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY
    You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.
  • BUREAUCRACY
    You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.
  • PURE ANARCHY
    You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.
  • ANARCHO-CAPITALISM
    You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
  • SURREALISM
    You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.